Today was a perfect lesson in Truth. My bike being stolen was a surprise and upset me although not greatly. It did make me think about why this had happened though. Lately I've been having a lot of issues with honesty in my life, feeling that people are not being honest or clear with me and experiencing some conflict about it. Various people have upset me in this way in different forms and I've certainly judged them for it. My first thoughts today were about the dishonesty and selfishness of the thieves. Of their lack of concern for someone else's needs. I recognized that this was the same feeling as my recent upsets and I asked myself would I accuse myself of the same thing? If I'm honest the answer is yes. It took me a minute to see (admit?) it but there have been various ways in which I have recently withheld things from people, even lied, and also in one instance taken something that wasn't mine without real consideration of how it might affect someone else. I was selfish.
Clearly I'M not honest either but I hadn't wanted to see that in myself and always found some way to justify or minimize it. So when someone commented to me that the thieves would get their karma I immediately recognized that this was MY karma. And not karma in the sense of punishment, I don't believe the universe is that vindictive, but in the sense that my own earlier, repressed INTERNAL thoughts and actions had created an equal and "opposite" later reaction for me EXTERNALLY. I was really just experiencing EXTERNALLY, through others, what I was unwilling to acknowledge and experience within myself INTERNALLY.
The bike thieves were just showing me myself. Same content, different form is all. In truth there were no thieves. I never saw them or heard them and spoke with no-one who had. The only 'evidence' of their existence is my missing bike. And I don't even truthfully know that it was stolen. All I know is it vanished. The thieves exist only in my mind as an idea, a screen upon which to project my own repressed thoughts of selfishness and judgment. What I had been unwilling to acknowledge and accept in myself had to be put somewhere and so I put (projected) it "out there" and created a string of upsets at others for not being honest with me, including the 'bike thieves'.
So I was really just upset with and judging MYSELF for not being honest but that thought was unconscious. I can't release/heal what I don't even know is there. Projecting it allowed me to SEE it and for it to become conscious, which is good. Now I know it's there. Now I'm not upset my bike was stolen, and in truth I never really LOST anything. I feel that today was a blessing in disguise. I lost my bike but what I actually got is far more helpful and valuable. I can always buy another bike.
So I was really just upset with and judging MYSELF for not being honest but that thought was unconscious. I can't release/heal what I don't even know is there. Projecting it allowed me to SEE it and for it to become conscious, which is good. Now I know it's there. Now I'm not upset my bike was stolen, and in truth I never really LOST anything. I feel that today was a blessing in disguise. I lost my bike but what I actually got is far more helpful and valuable. I can always buy another bike.
